I am actively releasing my addiction to perfectionism, the fear of being seen and heard. I am releasing the fear of rejection by allowing myself to write within my streams of consciousness on a public forum.
This is exactly how you will find reading this material. It will be full of raw emotion, my personal thoughts and experiences. There will be run on sentences, made up words and grammatical errors. Welcome to the real world.
So who the hell am I? Wow, here I am about to be the most raw and honest to a whole world of the unknown.
Holy shit… well sit back sweet friends for this is a tale, a journey, a roller coaster ride that I am about to share and embark on with you now…. Where to start… How to start… That’s the question I’ve been looking to answer my entire life.
“Who Am I?” Three words, one question with about a million answers from the superficial to the profoundly deep. One perfect set of words more powerful than we give credit to. If we strip away the societal standards, titles and expectations, who are you?
I’ll answer that in a few ways. By society’s views I am a 29 year old woman who grew up in a small town in British Columbia, Canada. I am by profession an established Kinesiologist, for those of you who doesn’t speak in medical terminology it means a kinaesthetic movement therapist. I specialize in human physical rehabilitation, movement therapy, nervous system recalibration and retraining, injury analysis, a specialist for injury prevention and education. I have worked for an esteemed back injury company for many years with extensive experience in dealing with insurance and disability claims, acquired brain injuries, co-facilitating anxiety and depression groups, facilitating hydrotherapy programs, work conditioning programs, conducting job site visits, job demands analysis, rehabilitating physical and mental injuries, office and industrial ergonomics, biomechanical posture and movement assessments, corporate education on injury prevention.
When you really write it all down it sounds very complex. It’s really not. To me anyways. I love the body and it’s intelligence, anatomy, movement, education and prevention. I love finding a way to make all of this accessible and relevant to various industries and people. We all can relate because we all have a body! We know aches, pains, injuries, struggles and the complexity they bring to our lives. It can be so helpful to find validation, answers and peace of mind when someone can relate difficult information and simplify it so that it is practical and tangible.
I feel that societies expectation of me as a young woman has been very domesticated: Mission is to find a man, get married, have kids, buy a house and raise a family, watch my family grow up and then look at living and fulfilling my own personal goals and dreams. Well, my friends, I did want that at one point in my life and I had the starting phases of it too. I respect everyone’s journey but that just wasn’t mine. Not to say I don’t still want those things…. Just not in that order.
That linear structure to life was what I believed to be true, there was no other way of living. It had been so deeply engrained into my psyche all these years. I was not conscious of this patterning. I actively took on setting such ridged guidelines and timelines for my life. To control and plan every detail out to ensure that I got the most out of what I was investing into: Graduate high school at 18 years old. University next. Age 22, graduate with your bachelor degree. Find a job, work in your field. Be in a long term relationship. Move in together. Buy a house. Get a dog. Get married. Have children. Raise children. Well you know the typical suburban story.
And for me I achieved it. In that order. Minus the children. With fierce focus, unwavering diligence, intellectual precision and ruthless self control. I sacrificed so much of my natural state. My mental health, emotional health and physical wellness. There was no room for error or life to flow naturally. I had my life on a tight leash or so I thought.
I woke up from this deep slumber in a place I had no recollection of. I knew I created my reality and was deeply depressed. I couldn’t figure out why I had gotten everything that I had planned for and felt like I was at this losing end against time. I was so disconnected from my heart, my dreams, my souls purpose and nature. I was numb. I couldn’t laugh, couldn’t cry, couldn’t love or access any of my emotions which I had always used as huge anchors in my life. This was the start of the discovery of “Who am I”.
So here I am now, 4 years later. Who am I? I am PROUD to answer this question.
I am: A WOMAN. Movement goddess. Medicine woman. Child of the Earth. Healer. Ceremonialist. Wild. Untamed. Unashamed. Kundalini Yoga Teacher. Creative Movement Therapist. Educator. Business owner. Lover. Passionist. Feminine. Soulful. Teacher. Student. Explorer. Adventurer. Mother. Maiden. Crone. Witch. Scorpio. I am here learning.
What do I do? I take you through a journey through your body and emotions. Pulling from various trainings in yoga (hatha, Kundalini, yin, restorative), rewilding principles, dancing, mantra, mudra, community, connection, pranayama, posture recalibration, rehabilitation movements and education, personal application and experience.
I am formally trained in Hatha, Yin, Kundalini, Pre-Natal Yoga, Therapeutics and Pranayama. The majority of my teachings come from my personal applications and deep integrations of these practices as well as working closely with my students.
After that extensive introduction I hope you can share on this next journey of a lifetime with me because that is what life is all about. Sharing, connecting, relating and inspiring others.
Sat Nam (I am my truth)